If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
