But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
