I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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