eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
