im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
no you cant smoke seaweed
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
