so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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