Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
