they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
