she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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