Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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