I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
