Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
