Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
