Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
