So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
