the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
why is half of my head shaved?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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