he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
