My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
