i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
