This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
