just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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