Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
