After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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