I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
