PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
