i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it's like iHOP with fire
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
