my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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