yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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