I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
