i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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