don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
