you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
