your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
