He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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