Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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