I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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