Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i think my cat just said my name.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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