Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
