have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
