OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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