Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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