its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
