i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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