did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
