Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
