Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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