she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
