Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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