Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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