Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
