White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
