If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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