I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish you could order shots online.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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