After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
